she was so not down for the gang bang
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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