brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
please come you make the beer taste better
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
