If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
