wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
