operation harelip BJ is a go
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Randomize
