just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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