Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
