he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
