I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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