please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
