mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
