she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
