The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
