Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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