Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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