careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
