You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
