I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
