Jerry, you need to find god
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
