y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
