Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
