It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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