wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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