Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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