For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
is wine microwaveable?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
