Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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