yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He passed out mid-signature
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
