There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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