you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
