I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
