And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
