So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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