She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
