My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Randomize
