Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
