I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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