My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
