Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
