wrigley field is MILF paradise
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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