ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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