Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
