I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
