Grow some girl-balls and come out already
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
