it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
