tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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