It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
