Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
True strength comes from lack of pants
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
