so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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