I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
