I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
