Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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