is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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