He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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