i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
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