He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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