I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
