I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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