How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
two words...techno handjob
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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