Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm at about main and main street
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
