i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
